Sunday, June 11, 2017

Transition in my Life I

Times of transition can be the most strenuous. After living in South Korea for more than six years, it was time for me to go home (Bhutan) for good. It was a bittersweet experience, and I started to lose my self-confidence. Firstly, I did not know where I belonged. Secondly, I had no life plans whatsoever. Even after having a master's degree, I felt like I am underqualified for any kind of job. Thus, for about half a year, I babysat my new nephew. Many would think that I have wasted my life because there was no monetary gain in this line of work. However, from all my experiences in my life, I can tell for sure that babysitting my nephew was the most learning experience ever in my life. From day one since my nephew came into this world, I had my full-time job. Here is a poem that I wrote for me before I left Bhutan for my new life in East Bay. The poem reflects what my nephew Haneul has taught me even before he turned one.

I never gave birth but I am a mother

You taught me how to cry 
People cry when they are happy 
You taught me about pain
That its best friend is joy

You taught me how to laugh
With your wordless innocent acts
You taught me how to smile
By smiling back at me

You taught me to be patient 
as if you knew everyone has a different pace
You taught me to be impatient 
Otherwise, we will be robbed of our time

You taught me to step back
So that I can see the whole universe 
You taught me to see with eyes closed
Not everything in life is visible to the eyes

With unspoken words
Its as if you talk to me 
"Aunt, did you lose a friend?
Don't worry! He will come back as a baby!"

You comfort me
You are the greatest present to me
You taught me what love is
It is sweet, pure, and wordless sensation

I never gave birth 
But I have a son
The day you were born to my sister 
I too turned into a mother 

- Your happy aunt, Chimi